It is very rightly said, “Life will keep bringing you same test, over and over again, until you pass it”. There is no doubt about the fact that decision making is learnt. There are some whose learning happens through trial and error while some learn through cognition. Also, there are some who don’t take decisions at all as they out – source it to others, significant others take decisions on their behalf.
Let’s go back in time. Let’s go back to school. What better way to understand ‘tests’ as we travel from one phase of our childhood to tests of our lives.
I often give this example to my clients. I ask them, “What will happen if you fail in say Grade – VII?” Most of them tell me – we will be devastated or we will miss on a year. Our friends would move ahead of us as we lag behind. To which my next question is, “What should be done to pass in Grade – VII and to be promoted to Grade VIII?” and I get a prompt answers saying that we should study & pass or get more serious.
I would like to modify this answer for my readers. To study ‘harder’ & pass. To change your plan of action and overcome this hurdle. Which means, even in life problems will keep reoccurring if we do not learn to find a long term solution to them.
To which my next question would be, what makes us all so unique? Well, there could be so many answers to this question. Like, the way we look, dress or conduct ourselves on a daily basis make us unique.
There can also be another way of looking at it. Probably, the answer to my question can be understood through our vulnerabilities. Yes! Our problems make a huge fragment of our personalities. The way we face, deal & conquer them according to our own perceptions, capabilities or simply our thoughts make us distinctive from one another.
Most of us must’ve said or heard questions like, “Why do I always fall in the same problem?” or “Why do I always fall in love with a wrong person?” or “Will I ever overcome my life struggles?” or “Why am I always hurt by others?” or “Why do people take me for granted?” I am sure that many of us have had these thoughts in common.
Have you ever observed that often everyone has their own vulnerable areas in life? On one hand, we are able to surpass a problem quite gracefully & on the other hand there are situations we find extremely difficult to deal with. It is like we are stuck forever. Unfortunately, if a similar problem reoccurs in life we repeatedly make the same errors.
Likewise in life, ‘When do we fall in the same trap over and over again?’ The answer is so pragmatic. If you ‘wish’ to overcome a problem you need to modify your thoughts. If you keep dealing with a problem with the same thought like you have been dealing in the past, you will continue to make faulty decisions only leading to the vicious circle of your self-created trap-crap.
It is no big deal to loose on a year or pass an exam after repeated attempts. Once we move on to another challenge in life we never look back at it as failure. It becomes part of our learning process. Our experience as we call it.
All of us so often have this way of thinking that we will face it when it happens rather than preparing ourselves for the future. Even in the case for passing from one class to the other we forget that a little effort at present would not cost our future plans, if at all we have any. It is the ‘Cost – Benefit Analysis’, which we learn but somehow forget to apply in times of decision making.
What is going to cost is the fact that we keep making the same errors repeatedly and we fail to even realize that how we are ‘trapping’ ourselves in faulty decision making. This is an art truly which every individual can learn and elude oneself from ‘creating’ repeated difficult situations presently or in future.